"Not so long ago, I used to come to this station filled with the fire of revolution, and the zeal of an explorer. We used to believe tht somehow, if we just played the music long enough and loud enough, we could change the world, evolve ourselves into something higher, brighter, more aware." - Jim Ladd, Radio Waves
Not so long ago, I lived in Southern California. I moved out in September of 02 with typical dreams of making in the entertainment industry. Whatever that means. Now years, seven years later, I am three thousand miles away and still being transformed by the light which I brought back from the glittering streetlights of L.A. It was the music and the words and the guidance of two very different people on opposite ends of the station schedule at 95.5 KLOS. One was Jim Ladd, the Lonesome L.A. Cowboy, the only remaining free-form rock and roll D.J. and the other Frank Sontag, the reassuring voice that I found when searching for answers about the unending bloodshed in Iraq and Afghanistan and my own internal and external struggle to survive in the San Fernando Valley.
Between The Impact Program on Sunday nights/monday mornings and Weeknights after close at the fine dining establishment know as Subway, Headsets on Wednesday at midnight, long bus rides, nights on Mullholland overlook, walking down an empty street at 1 or 2 a. m. , and little help from a little green tree which apparently can be lit on fire and inhaled, and a few good books "to hang out with" as Ram Dass would say, I discovered what I had suspected since high school and probably long before that- that there is more to life than school, work, money, and the hopes of becoming "rich and famous." That there is a part of me that no one else can see but I can feel but never knew how to use and what it had to do with "who I am".
Being an artist I know a little something about tapping into that Source for inspiration. The same Source which the Beatles, Doors, and other bands that were famous long before I was born.
Music, especially rock and roll or classic rock had a way of expressing what I felt in my heart.
Radio Waves is a heart-wrenching, mind-blowing look into the origins of FM Radio and how Free-form radio started as desperate act by Big Daddy Donahue to save a dying foreign language station and turn it into a forum for the voice of revolution. Free-form rock and roll was what set FM radio apart from AM. Jim Ladd was part of the movement which captured the heart of the Summer of Love and turned it into a spiritual revolution.
The book gives you the sense that you are along for the ride or have been since the beginning even if you just got on the magic bus. If you have not heard what Free-form rock and roll sounds like- go to 955klos.com and listen to the Jim Ladd show for a while- listen to his skillful sets of songs with various themes which tell a little story, listen to headsets with the lights low and some insence or candle or other comustible enhancement. It may just change your life. You may get a glimpe at what RADIO KAOS was all about. You may find yourself asking questions which have very scary answers or which trigger even scarier questions.
One of the most inspiring parts of the book is the Paraquat incident which resulted in Jim Ladd giving out a phone number which connected to the White House. I'm not going to tell you what happened but I found myself wondering if somehting like that could be attempted again. You may find yourself saying, "Hey, is there a phone number or e-mail address which goes directly to the White House- You may find yourself calling or e-mailling the president and asking him why the F-(though i'd probably go with a more subtle, calm, and respectful approach) we are still in Iraq and Afghanistan. What can we accomplish there besides more annhillation by megaton warheads, more soldiers and ordinary people like you and me trying to live with car bombs and roadside mines. Why should Americans support, defend, pay for a war which has no end, no purpose, no coverage on any news network or talkshow except maybe Real Time with Bill Maher, the Daily Show, The Impact Program and the Jim Ladd Show. Does Mr. Obama, a man I am proud to have voted for. The first president I can honestly say I openly and thoughtfully elected. The first president I have seen in person and captured on my cellphone cam. The only glimpse of W. I ever got was the exhaust pipe of AirForce One last time I flew back from a visit to L.A.
This review has become a rant and a rant which I hope will become a revolution. For anyone who lives or has lived in So Cal and knows who Jim Ladd or only just discovered him on the new Impact Program, please listen again if you don't already, order Radio Waves through the talkradioone.com Amazon button. turn off the T.V.(or unlplug it and put in the the basement like I did) and read Radio Waves by Jim Ladd(and I suggest listening to some of the music referenced in the book because it gives it a more effective context). It only took me two days and it has broken open a dam that so long I had kept putting my finger into the holes of.
Oh and please listen to the new Impact Program on talkradioone.com. I owe a lot to both Jim Ladd and Frank Sontag. Without them I would still be a little lost sheep with no clue as to what I really beleive or who I really am.
Lord Have Mercy.
"Listen again with fresh ears to the mystic rhythm of the trial drum - beating from the heart of KAOS" - Jim Ladd.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Scope Response 10
Did you ever notice that some people seem to be addicted to falling in love over and over again? While they may truly have a natural propensity to exult in the beauty of a great variety of their fellow humans, I also suspect that their addiction serves as an excuse for them to fall in love with themselves over and over again. At least in part, each new romantic partner is a pawn in their strategy for coming back home to themselves. Here's what I'm inclined to ask these people: Why not simply eliminate the middleman or middlewoman? I'm not necessarily implying that you'll benefit from this advice right now, Pisces. But then why did a soft, lulling voice in my head just suggest that I tell it to you?
Love love love. Falling in love over and over again? Yeah I've done that. Several times with at least three prominent female friends. Is this an excuse to fall in love with myself over and over again? Possibly. Is it a way to "come home" to myself. That's more accurate I would say.
There have been many girls, women, females who I believed were "the one for me" the Girl of My Dreams. There are three that stand out amongs the rest.
The first, I fell in love with my freshmen year in high school. She was the friend of a friend whose house I was spending the night in as the last hurrah for the summer before going to the big high school. It was lucky that my friend was two years older and offered to introduce me to all of his friends. Then he told me about this girl, and while a cannot remember exactly how he described her a small voice in my head said: She will be mine. I will be-friend her and she will choose me over him. In the first week of school I met her, she was the most amazing person I had ever met. The three of us went to a football game. She and I just seemed to click "like peas and car-rots." We literally talked the whole night while my other friend suddenlt became the third wheel of sorts. For the next few weeks and months it became a real life version of "The Doggone Girl is Mine". But my friendship with the girl just grew and grew. We became inseparable and up until my sophmore year during which it was just the two of us because our mutual friend had graduated.
The is girl was everything I wanted to be she was an artist, a mathmatical genius, she took advanced Spanish and Calculus and art. She never slept and hardly ever ate. I think she was vegetarian or tried to be as much as the crap school lunch provided. "Just potatoes" was her usual meal. She had dark hair, blue eyes, white skin, and I thought she was the most fascinating thing. One day after I had attempted (badly) to woo her with carnations and a badly plagarized Beatles song(she loved the Beatles) She told me in a letter "implored" me to find "good soil." Since that day I have spend long hours wondering just WTF she meant but I think I have an inkling and have only begun to discover the many faceted mystery those two words presented.
In recent year, the Beatles has become my favorite band. I've explored the art field and continue to do so. And now I am taking math classes again and finding that I actually like doing it. Okay, I'd rather do anything than math but I find when I do it, it's really not all that difficult to understand it just requires practice. I desire more than ever to see her and talk to her again. Part of me wonders if I am going to fall in love with her again even for a moment. If seeing and talking to her again means exploring the possibilities or if it's jsut a chance to reconnect to someone I still hold as someone who has qualities that I lack or have yet to unlock or just have to will myself to engage. If you read this and you know who I am talking about and you have seen or have contact information for her please do not hesitate to e-mail, message, Facebook, whatever to me. Her name is Chris Feild and I would love to see her again even if its to share a brief moment.
The second is the sister of one of my best friends, I fell in love with her in the Spring of my sophmore year and tried to ask her to every dance or event I could up until my Senior Prom. In most cases we had little or nothing in common except Marching Band, choirs and all the little adventures and inside jokes that go with that. Looking back, I'd say while at the time I would say I was so madly in love with her and for the most part I just didn't understand why. She was closest that I ever saw as the girl in the movie that is so beautiful and seemingly perfect in her own way that it- okay, the only thing I can compare it to is Dumb and Dumber which was my favorite comedy at that time and the whole infatuation of Lloyd to Mary is pretty much the way I felt about Ally. She was merely the inspiration for crazy fantasies which I won't delve into.
And Third, is the one that I have mentioned many times in past blogs, journals. She introduced me to the world of magic, dreams, wishes, ghosts, and 80's culture. At the time our freshman year of college- I was first introduced to places, people, situations, ideas, conflicting views, obnoxious roommates, haunted dorm rooms and a security guard who was prehaps the first of many teachers(other than fic-tional characters) who actually peeled back the fabric of the illusion we call "the real world"). I would never delved so deeply into those long nights and stuff that sent my "weird-shit-o-meter" into the red had I not found myself drawn night after night to her door and to her face and her magnetic energy. I wanted that energy, that ability to see what cannot be seen by "normal" eyes.
Here's what I'm inclined to ask these people: Why not simply eliminate the middleman or middlewoman? I'm not necessarily implying that you'll benefit from this advice right now, Pisces. But then why did a soft, lulling voice in my head just suggest that I tell it to you?
So, instead of pining over some psuedo-sister who while beautiful and unique and amazing in their own right, and being attracted to the things that I see in them that I lack or that I wish to possess, I should figure out which qualities I lack in myself, spends some time reflecting on my short-comings, the things I want and the things I need and the things that no one else can give me but my own Inner Self. In recent years the people that possess the qualities and demonstrate them in public talks, radio talk shows, or in books are spiritual teachers who have shown me more doors and pathways to the Inner Light as any beautiful princess or queen of all my dreams.
Consider also the words of Ledd Zepplin in the song "Going to California" searching for a "the girl out their with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair." I think I went to California in search of the girl- but instead found "the path the runs straight and high." And heard that soft lulling voice. A voice easily covered by TV, video games, FEAR (Fantasies, Exuses, Addictions, Regrets). A voice which is buried now in a layer of shit and cries to be set free.
Love love love. Falling in love over and over again? Yeah I've done that. Several times with at least three prominent female friends. Is this an excuse to fall in love with myself over and over again? Possibly. Is it a way to "come home" to myself. That's more accurate I would say.
There have been many girls, women, females who I believed were "the one for me" the Girl of My Dreams. There are three that stand out amongs the rest.
The first, I fell in love with my freshmen year in high school. She was the friend of a friend whose house I was spending the night in as the last hurrah for the summer before going to the big high school. It was lucky that my friend was two years older and offered to introduce me to all of his friends. Then he told me about this girl, and while a cannot remember exactly how he described her a small voice in my head said: She will be mine. I will be-friend her and she will choose me over him. In the first week of school I met her, she was the most amazing person I had ever met. The three of us went to a football game. She and I just seemed to click "like peas and car-rots." We literally talked the whole night while my other friend suddenlt became the third wheel of sorts. For the next few weeks and months it became a real life version of "The Doggone Girl is Mine". But my friendship with the girl just grew and grew. We became inseparable and up until my sophmore year during which it was just the two of us because our mutual friend had graduated.
The is girl was everything I wanted to be she was an artist, a mathmatical genius, she took advanced Spanish and Calculus and art. She never slept and hardly ever ate. I think she was vegetarian or tried to be as much as the crap school lunch provided. "Just potatoes" was her usual meal. She had dark hair, blue eyes, white skin, and I thought she was the most fascinating thing. One day after I had attempted (badly) to woo her with carnations and a badly plagarized Beatles song(she loved the Beatles) She told me in a letter "implored" me to find "good soil." Since that day I have spend long hours wondering just WTF she meant but I think I have an inkling and have only begun to discover the many faceted mystery those two words presented.
In recent year, the Beatles has become my favorite band. I've explored the art field and continue to do so. And now I am taking math classes again and finding that I actually like doing it. Okay, I'd rather do anything than math but I find when I do it, it's really not all that difficult to understand it just requires practice. I desire more than ever to see her and talk to her again. Part of me wonders if I am going to fall in love with her again even for a moment. If seeing and talking to her again means exploring the possibilities or if it's jsut a chance to reconnect to someone I still hold as someone who has qualities that I lack or have yet to unlock or just have to will myself to engage. If you read this and you know who I am talking about and you have seen or have contact information for her please do not hesitate to e-mail, message, Facebook, whatever to me. Her name is Chris Feild and I would love to see her again even if its to share a brief moment.
The second is the sister of one of my best friends, I fell in love with her in the Spring of my sophmore year and tried to ask her to every dance or event I could up until my Senior Prom. In most cases we had little or nothing in common except Marching Band, choirs and all the little adventures and inside jokes that go with that. Looking back, I'd say while at the time I would say I was so madly in love with her and for the most part I just didn't understand why. She was closest that I ever saw as the girl in the movie that is so beautiful and seemingly perfect in her own way that it- okay, the only thing I can compare it to is Dumb and Dumber which was my favorite comedy at that time and the whole infatuation of Lloyd to Mary is pretty much the way I felt about Ally. She was merely the inspiration for crazy fantasies which I won't delve into.
And Third, is the one that I have mentioned many times in past blogs, journals. She introduced me to the world of magic, dreams, wishes, ghosts, and 80's culture. At the time our freshman year of college- I was first introduced to places, people, situations, ideas, conflicting views, obnoxious roommates, haunted dorm rooms and a security guard who was prehaps the first of many teachers(other than fic-tional characters) who actually peeled back the fabric of the illusion we call "the real world"). I would never delved so deeply into those long nights and stuff that sent my "weird-shit-o-meter" into the red had I not found myself drawn night after night to her door and to her face and her magnetic energy. I wanted that energy, that ability to see what cannot be seen by "normal" eyes.
Here's what I'm inclined to ask these people: Why not simply eliminate the middleman or middlewoman? I'm not necessarily implying that you'll benefit from this advice right now, Pisces. But then why did a soft, lulling voice in my head just suggest that I tell it to you?
So, instead of pining over some psuedo-sister who while beautiful and unique and amazing in their own right, and being attracted to the things that I see in them that I lack or that I wish to possess, I should figure out which qualities I lack in myself, spends some time reflecting on my short-comings, the things I want and the things I need and the things that no one else can give me but my own Inner Self. In recent years the people that possess the qualities and demonstrate them in public talks, radio talk shows, or in books are spiritual teachers who have shown me more doors and pathways to the Inner Light as any beautiful princess or queen of all my dreams.
Consider also the words of Ledd Zepplin in the song "Going to California" searching for a "the girl out their with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair." I think I went to California in search of the girl- but instead found "the path the runs straight and high." And heard that soft lulling voice. A voice easily covered by TV, video games, FEAR (Fantasies, Exuses, Addictions, Regrets). A voice which is buried now in a layer of shit and cries to be set free.
Monday, August 17, 2009
I Have a Dream - excerpt from PRONOIA'
I Have a Dream
excerpted from PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia
If you've ever been to a poetry slam, you know that sensitive lyrics in praise of love and beauty are rare. Far more common are vehement diatribes that curse injustice and hypocrisy.I'm not putting that stuff down; I've been known to unload some dark rants myself. But at this perfect moment, the Beauty and Truth Laboratory is more interested in pragmatic idealism. We're thirsty for streams of visionary consciousness, fountains of lustrous truth, and floods of feisty hope.Therefore, we propose that instead of a poetry slam, you participate in our "I Have a Dream" Slam. To get in the mood, read or listen to the speech that Martin Luther King Jr. made at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., on August 28, 1963. The text, as well as an MP3 of King giving the speech, is available on the Web.Maybe King's plea will inspire you to create your own personal "I Have a Dream" manifesto. To be part of the "I Have a Dream" Slam, send your offering to uaregod@comcast.com or P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.
Now here's my "I Have a Dream" speech.I have a dream. I have a dream that in the New World, there will be a new Bill of Rights. The first amendment will be, "Your daily wage is directly tied to the beauty and truth and love you provide."I have a dream that in the New World, childbirth will be broadcast in prime time on a major TV network every night.I have a dream that the New World will have exhilarationists, and they'll vastly outnumber the terrorists. The exhilarationists will be performance artists with a conscience ... charismatic improvisers who love to spring fun surprises. They'll commit unexpected interventions and unscheduled spectacles that delight hordes of strangers.
I have a dream that in the New World, we will add an eleventh commandment to the standard ten: Thou shalt not bore God.I have a dream of a week-long annual holiday called the Bacchanalia. Work and business will be suspended so that all adults can explore their ripe mojo with frothy erotic experiments. Tenderly orgiastic marathons will rage unabated. Reverential ecstasy and grateful generosity will rule.
I have a dream that when anchormen report tragedies on their nightly TV shows, they'll break down and cry and let their emotions show. No more poker faces.*
In the New World, you'll be a fascinating enigma worthy of a best-selling unauthorized biography and I'll be an inscrutable genius whose every move is packed with symbolic meaning -- and vice versa. That will be the law in the New World -- far different from the Old World, where schadenfreude is epidemic and your distinctive flair is supposed to make me feel worshipful or diminished.
*I have a dream that in the New World, the word "asshole" will be a term of endearment rather than abuse. Plutocracy will be a felony. April Fool's Day will come once a month. There'll be scientific horoscopes and mystical logic. Every one of us will have at least one imaginary friend. Compassion will be an aphrodisiac.In the New World, we'll launch an affirmative action program that ultimately makes most of us celebrities. Buddhist real estate developers will build a chain of sacred shopping centers in the heartland. The CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies will be required by law to enjoy once-a-week sessions with Jungian psychotherapists. Pioneers in artificial intelligence research will develop computers that can talk to God.In the New World, same-sex marriages will be fully sanctioned, of course. But why stop there? We'll also legalize wedding bonds among threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and large groups of people who are in love with each other. I have a dream that we will expand the meaning of love beyond anything our ancestors imagined.*
In the New World, our children will study singing and dancing and meditation and dream work with as much diligence as they now devote to math and science. They'll learn to see with their own eyes and think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts, studying those subjects as intently as they do spelling and grammar and social studies. Beginning in seventh grade, they'll get lessons in the art of creating successful intimate relationships. And we'll teach them why it's only fair that for the next 3,000 years we use "her" for the generic singular pronoun instead of "him."*I have a dream that we will take everything we need and give everything we have. We'll be both selfish altruists and generous braggarts, Llibertarian socialists and capitalist humanitarians. That'll be the law in the New World -- different from the Old World, where you can blindly serve your own interests or devote yourself to the needs of others, but not both.*I have a dream that in the New World, Oprah Winfrey will buy up all the Pizza Huts on the planet and convert them into a global network of menstrual huts, where for a few days each month, every one of us, men and women alike, can resign from the crazy-making 9–5 -- drop out and slow down, break trance and dive down into eternal time. We will sleep eight and a half hours every night and practice our lucid dreams ... sing love songs from the future while soaking in long, hot baths ... feast on chocolate as we converse with the little voices in our heads ... research the difference between stupid suffering and wise suffering until we finally get it right . . . wear magic underwear made from eagle feathers, spider webs, and 100-year-old moss . . . and conjure up bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.
*In the New World, you'll kick your own ass and I'll wash my own brain. I'll be my own parents and you'll be your own wife. And vice versa. That'll be normal in the New World -- different from the Old World, where everyone except me is to blame for my ignorance and you call on everyone except yourself to give you what you need. I'll push my own buttons and right my own wrongs. You'll wake yourself up and sing your own songs.*I'm the president now . . . and so are you. I am the Supreme Commander of the United Snakes of the Blooming HaHa . . . and so are you. And what we proclaim is that in the New World, we will love our neighbors as ourselves, even if our neighbors are jerks. We will never divide the world into us against them. We will search for the divine spark even in the people we most despise, and we will never dehumanize anyone, even those who dehumanize us.I have a dream that sooner or later every one of us will become a well-rounded, highly skilled, incredibly rich master of rowdy bliss -- with lots of leisure time and an orgiastic feminist conscience.
excerpted from PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia
If you've ever been to a poetry slam, you know that sensitive lyrics in praise of love and beauty are rare. Far more common are vehement diatribes that curse injustice and hypocrisy.I'm not putting that stuff down; I've been known to unload some dark rants myself. But at this perfect moment, the Beauty and Truth Laboratory is more interested in pragmatic idealism. We're thirsty for streams of visionary consciousness, fountains of lustrous truth, and floods of feisty hope.Therefore, we propose that instead of a poetry slam, you participate in our "I Have a Dream" Slam. To get in the mood, read or listen to the speech that Martin Luther King Jr. made at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., on August 28, 1963. The text, as well as an MP3 of King giving the speech, is available on the Web.Maybe King's plea will inspire you to create your own personal "I Have a Dream" manifesto. To be part of the "I Have a Dream" Slam, send your offering to uaregod@comcast.com or P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.
Now here's my "I Have a Dream" speech.I have a dream. I have a dream that in the New World, there will be a new Bill of Rights. The first amendment will be, "Your daily wage is directly tied to the beauty and truth and love you provide."I have a dream that in the New World, childbirth will be broadcast in prime time on a major TV network every night.I have a dream that the New World will have exhilarationists, and they'll vastly outnumber the terrorists. The exhilarationists will be performance artists with a conscience ... charismatic improvisers who love to spring fun surprises. They'll commit unexpected interventions and unscheduled spectacles that delight hordes of strangers.
I have a dream that in the New World, we will add an eleventh commandment to the standard ten: Thou shalt not bore God.I have a dream of a week-long annual holiday called the Bacchanalia. Work and business will be suspended so that all adults can explore their ripe mojo with frothy erotic experiments. Tenderly orgiastic marathons will rage unabated. Reverential ecstasy and grateful generosity will rule.
I have a dream that when anchormen report tragedies on their nightly TV shows, they'll break down and cry and let their emotions show. No more poker faces.*
In the New World, you'll be a fascinating enigma worthy of a best-selling unauthorized biography and I'll be an inscrutable genius whose every move is packed with symbolic meaning -- and vice versa. That will be the law in the New World -- far different from the Old World, where schadenfreude is epidemic and your distinctive flair is supposed to make me feel worshipful or diminished.
*I have a dream that in the New World, the word "asshole" will be a term of endearment rather than abuse. Plutocracy will be a felony. April Fool's Day will come once a month. There'll be scientific horoscopes and mystical logic. Every one of us will have at least one imaginary friend. Compassion will be an aphrodisiac.In the New World, we'll launch an affirmative action program that ultimately makes most of us celebrities. Buddhist real estate developers will build a chain of sacred shopping centers in the heartland. The CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies will be required by law to enjoy once-a-week sessions with Jungian psychotherapists. Pioneers in artificial intelligence research will develop computers that can talk to God.In the New World, same-sex marriages will be fully sanctioned, of course. But why stop there? We'll also legalize wedding bonds among threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and large groups of people who are in love with each other. I have a dream that we will expand the meaning of love beyond anything our ancestors imagined.*
In the New World, our children will study singing and dancing and meditation and dream work with as much diligence as they now devote to math and science. They'll learn to see with their own eyes and think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts, studying those subjects as intently as they do spelling and grammar and social studies. Beginning in seventh grade, they'll get lessons in the art of creating successful intimate relationships. And we'll teach them why it's only fair that for the next 3,000 years we use "her" for the generic singular pronoun instead of "him."*I have a dream that we will take everything we need and give everything we have. We'll be both selfish altruists and generous braggarts, Llibertarian socialists and capitalist humanitarians. That'll be the law in the New World -- different from the Old World, where you can blindly serve your own interests or devote yourself to the needs of others, but not both.*I have a dream that in the New World, Oprah Winfrey will buy up all the Pizza Huts on the planet and convert them into a global network of menstrual huts, where for a few days each month, every one of us, men and women alike, can resign from the crazy-making 9–5 -- drop out and slow down, break trance and dive down into eternal time. We will sleep eight and a half hours every night and practice our lucid dreams ... sing love songs from the future while soaking in long, hot baths ... feast on chocolate as we converse with the little voices in our heads ... research the difference between stupid suffering and wise suffering until we finally get it right . . . wear magic underwear made from eagle feathers, spider webs, and 100-year-old moss . . . and conjure up bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.
*In the New World, you'll kick your own ass and I'll wash my own brain. I'll be my own parents and you'll be your own wife. And vice versa. That'll be normal in the New World -- different from the Old World, where everyone except me is to blame for my ignorance and you call on everyone except yourself to give you what you need. I'll push my own buttons and right my own wrongs. You'll wake yourself up and sing your own songs.*I'm the president now . . . and so are you. I am the Supreme Commander of the United Snakes of the Blooming HaHa . . . and so are you. And what we proclaim is that in the New World, we will love our neighbors as ourselves, even if our neighbors are jerks. We will never divide the world into us against them. We will search for the divine spark even in the people we most despise, and we will never dehumanize anyone, even those who dehumanize us.I have a dream that sooner or later every one of us will become a well-rounded, highly skilled, incredibly rich master of rowdy bliss -- with lots of leisure time and an orgiastic feminist conscience.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Scope Response 9
My weekly or weakly(your choice) response to my weekly horoscope for Pisces(look up your own sign) at freewillastrology.com:
I've borrowed a fable from the ancient Greek writer Aesop to create a parable you can use in the coming weeks. Once upon a time there was a very thirsty crow. Rain hadn't fallen in a long time, and the creek from which she'd always drunk had dried up. Searching and searching for a bit of moisture, the crow finally happened upon a tree under which sat a ceramic pitcher with some water in it. But the pitcher's neck was narrow, and the crow couldn't fit her beak past it to reach the water. Inspired by desperation, the crow at last got an idea. Why not drop small rocks into the pitcher, making the water's level rise? And that's exactly what she did. How sweet it was when at last she quenched her thirst.
This is a good one. I know exactly what it means. Lately, I have been feeling a bit down about my current point in life. While I am fortunate to have a job and doing pretty well in school(though I have yet to make a decision about taking a math class), I am missing my friends in California, and missing California Herself, and the life that had- although not glamorous and on the edge of a knife was a period of revolution, change and spiritual illumination. I met some very deep spiritual teachers developed my own unique spiritual practices.
It began in May of 2005 when I noticed a news report that it was a bloodiest day in Iraq after Bush landed on the aircraft declaring Mission Accomplished. Why was this happening? What are we doing in Iraq? Why is no one else asking these questions? When I got to my rented room in Burbank I turned on the radio to listen to some classic rock music and heard the voice of Frank Sontag talking about the Invasion and occupation of Iraq and asking why no one else was questioning why we are there. I began listening to Frank regularly and discovered that there is a deepere reason for my questioning the Invasion of Iraq, that is to question my own views and embark on more deeper questions such as who I am and why am I here?
Many years later- it is 2009. Over 5,000 troops have lost their lives. We now have a new president, who I support- voted for and continue to support. There has been a lot of hatred directed to Obama and most of it is fear-based. But I had a bit of a confrontation with a co-worker who was saying things like Obama is not a citizen and speaks with a forked tongue- that nobody paid attention to him during the campiagn/election. Well, I paid attention and I listened to Obama, listening to the way he speaks, watching for a sign that I could not trust him. And so far I have no reason not to trust him. If he wasn't a citizen and it was such an important flaw in his background, I'm pretty sure that someone in the electoral committee or congress regardless of affiliation would find it. If on the other hand, Obama is not what he seems than, I suppose we will find out in time as we found out the various faults and scandals of past presidents.( i.e. Clinton lying about getting a blow job, Bush lying about WMDs, etc.). It is hard to have a conversation with someone who disagrees about political(as well as religion or sports teams) there is a lot of emotion- fear and anger. Often I have customers come up to buy ammo but because it is so pricy and we never get enough in to satisfy the demand. It often leads to the customer complaining about Obama and saying things like the country is going down the tubes and it goe downhill from there.
For the last six weeks or so, I have been listening to Frank Sontag on his NEW Impact Program on http://talkradioone.com/. I was one of the many who were devastated when Franks show on KLOS was cancelled. But I knew it meant Frank was going on to something better. The new show is much better. On Tuesdays and Thursdays 7PM(PACIFIC)/10PM(EST). I invite any who read this to listen. I am a frequent caller and called in on this same topic- the hatred for Obama.
How does this apply to the Horoscope?
Well. The mess in Iraq was the catalyst to my own introspection and spiritual revolution. Since I have moved back "home" I have revolved or deevolved back to my old ways- many times I have tried to kick start a new spiritual practice- sometimes it will last for a month or more but I cannot keep with anything for very long. The constant contact with fearful, insecure, and emotional people is very draining and this recent reaction to Obama brings up a need to surrender it all and re-energizing of my disciplines.
This fable of the thirsty crow is a good analogy to my present spiritual state. "These times are famine for a soul but for the senses its a feast," Jackson Browne sings. Searching for spiritual nourishment in a spiritually dry land. I keep trying to tap into the old pathways- for instance making playlists of my favorite songs to meditate to but finding it harder to focus to just sit and shut up(at least mentally) and just listen and just let go.
I see the jug of water- but my beak cannot reach the water- so I need to drop some stones in the water- often it is when we are confronted with turmoil- pain, loss, terminal illness that we turn to God or find time to do some introspection, reflection, take a step back and ask some questions or just sit and allow the pain or grief or whatever to wash away. The pain of confronting angry and fearful emotions which seem to hit me hard when they should wash over me.
I am now reminded of an excerpt from Dan Millman's book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, where Dan has a vision- a guided vision of being a goldfish in a pond. Stones periodically splunk! into the water sending him tumbling or panicking. After a while Dan learns to calm himself down and allow to ripples to pass by and ride them out until the water is calm again. Pain, fear, confrontation stones dropped into my water jug making the water rise- from which I can drink.
To spend some time. A little time each day or night, whenever you can find the time. 5, 10, 20 minutes. I say this both to spur myself into some serious meditation and to invite others to discover this for themselves. Don't wait for something terrible to slap you awake. WAKE UP! We don't have a lot of time left- the rivers and streams are drying up- but if God wills it there will be water.
Peace.
See more like this one at my blog
I've borrowed a fable from the ancient Greek writer Aesop to create a parable you can use in the coming weeks. Once upon a time there was a very thirsty crow. Rain hadn't fallen in a long time, and the creek from which she'd always drunk had dried up. Searching and searching for a bit of moisture, the crow finally happened upon a tree under which sat a ceramic pitcher with some water in it. But the pitcher's neck was narrow, and the crow couldn't fit her beak past it to reach the water. Inspired by desperation, the crow at last got an idea. Why not drop small rocks into the pitcher, making the water's level rise? And that's exactly what she did. How sweet it was when at last she quenched her thirst.
This is a good one. I know exactly what it means. Lately, I have been feeling a bit down about my current point in life. While I am fortunate to have a job and doing pretty well in school(though I have yet to make a decision about taking a math class), I am missing my friends in California, and missing California Herself, and the life that had- although not glamorous and on the edge of a knife was a period of revolution, change and spiritual illumination. I met some very deep spiritual teachers developed my own unique spiritual practices.
It began in May of 2005 when I noticed a news report that it was a bloodiest day in Iraq after Bush landed on the aircraft declaring Mission Accomplished. Why was this happening? What are we doing in Iraq? Why is no one else asking these questions? When I got to my rented room in Burbank I turned on the radio to listen to some classic rock music and heard the voice of Frank Sontag talking about the Invasion and occupation of Iraq and asking why no one else was questioning why we are there. I began listening to Frank regularly and discovered that there is a deepere reason for my questioning the Invasion of Iraq, that is to question my own views and embark on more deeper questions such as who I am and why am I here?
Many years later- it is 2009. Over 5,000 troops have lost their lives. We now have a new president, who I support- voted for and continue to support. There has been a lot of hatred directed to Obama and most of it is fear-based. But I had a bit of a confrontation with a co-worker who was saying things like Obama is not a citizen and speaks with a forked tongue- that nobody paid attention to him during the campiagn/election. Well, I paid attention and I listened to Obama, listening to the way he speaks, watching for a sign that I could not trust him. And so far I have no reason not to trust him. If he wasn't a citizen and it was such an important flaw in his background, I'm pretty sure that someone in the electoral committee or congress regardless of affiliation would find it. If on the other hand, Obama is not what he seems than, I suppose we will find out in time as we found out the various faults and scandals of past presidents.( i.e. Clinton lying about getting a blow job, Bush lying about WMDs, etc.). It is hard to have a conversation with someone who disagrees about political(as well as religion or sports teams) there is a lot of emotion- fear and anger. Often I have customers come up to buy ammo but because it is so pricy and we never get enough in to satisfy the demand. It often leads to the customer complaining about Obama and saying things like the country is going down the tubes and it goe downhill from there.
For the last six weeks or so, I have been listening to Frank Sontag on his NEW Impact Program on http://talkradioone.com/. I was one of the many who were devastated when Franks show on KLOS was cancelled. But I knew it meant Frank was going on to something better. The new show is much better. On Tuesdays and Thursdays 7PM(PACIFIC)/10PM(EST). I invite any who read this to listen. I am a frequent caller and called in on this same topic- the hatred for Obama.
How does this apply to the Horoscope?
Well. The mess in Iraq was the catalyst to my own introspection and spiritual revolution. Since I have moved back "home" I have revolved or deevolved back to my old ways- many times I have tried to kick start a new spiritual practice- sometimes it will last for a month or more but I cannot keep with anything for very long. The constant contact with fearful, insecure, and emotional people is very draining and this recent reaction to Obama brings up a need to surrender it all and re-energizing of my disciplines.
This fable of the thirsty crow is a good analogy to my present spiritual state. "These times are famine for a soul but for the senses its a feast," Jackson Browne sings. Searching for spiritual nourishment in a spiritually dry land. I keep trying to tap into the old pathways- for instance making playlists of my favorite songs to meditate to but finding it harder to focus to just sit and shut up(at least mentally) and just listen and just let go.
I see the jug of water- but my beak cannot reach the water- so I need to drop some stones in the water- often it is when we are confronted with turmoil- pain, loss, terminal illness that we turn to God or find time to do some introspection, reflection, take a step back and ask some questions or just sit and allow the pain or grief or whatever to wash away. The pain of confronting angry and fearful emotions which seem to hit me hard when they should wash over me.
I am now reminded of an excerpt from Dan Millman's book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, where Dan has a vision- a guided vision of being a goldfish in a pond. Stones periodically splunk! into the water sending him tumbling or panicking. After a while Dan learns to calm himself down and allow to ripples to pass by and ride them out until the water is calm again. Pain, fear, confrontation stones dropped into my water jug making the water rise- from which I can drink.
To spend some time. A little time each day or night, whenever you can find the time. 5, 10, 20 minutes. I say this both to spur myself into some serious meditation and to invite others to discover this for themselves. Don't wait for something terrible to slap you awake. WAKE UP! We don't have a lot of time left- the rivers and streams are drying up- but if God wills it there will be water.
Peace.
See more like this one at my blog
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Scope Response #8
In case, you have not been following along and just tuned in, every Thursday(or whenever I get around to it) I go to freewillastrology.com, read, cut and paste the reading for Pisces(my sign) and write out a response as Rob's scopes are often insiteful if not filled with pop-cultural, historical, or Dennis Miller-esque analogies which form time to time have the ring of truth for me.
Todays entry I have not read before hand and have cut and pasted it just now.
Internet addiction has risen to epidemic proportions in China. In early 2009, psychologists in Shandong province began offering an alleged cure that involved the use of electro-shock therapy. Parents of 3,000 young people paid Dr. Yang Yongxin and his team over $800 a month to hook their anesthetized teens up to machines that sent electricity through their brains to induce artificial seizures. After four months, the Chinese government intervened and halted the treatment, noting that there was no evidence it worked. This practice might sound comically barbaric to you, but I think it has a certain resemblance to the way you have been dealing with your own flaws and excesses: with inordinate force. In the coming weeks, I really think it's important not to punish yourself for any reason, Pisces, even if it's in a supposedly good cause. The lesson of the Chinese experiment is: not only is it overkill, it also doesn't even have the desired effect.
Todays entry I have not read before hand and have cut and pasted it just now.
Internet addiction has risen to epidemic proportions in China. In early 2009, psychologists in Shandong province began offering an alleged cure that involved the use of electro-shock therapy. Parents of 3,000 young people paid Dr. Yang Yongxin and his team over $800 a month to hook their anesthetized teens up to machines that sent electricity through their brains to induce artificial seizures. After four months, the Chinese government intervened and halted the treatment, noting that there was no evidence it worked. This practice might sound comically barbaric to you, but I think it has a certain resemblance to the way you have been dealing with your own flaws and excesses: with inordinate force. In the coming weeks, I really think it's important not to punish yourself for any reason, Pisces, even if it's in a supposedly good cause. The lesson of the Chinese experiment is: not only is it overkill, it also doesn't even have the desired effect.
Yeah. Maybe I should have read it first. Well, as I have no clue how to respond, but I guess I won't beat myself up over it. After all its 3:20 a.m. and I have to get up tomorrow and go to work at 10. At the moment I'm feeling quite awake like those long nights doing artwork in 333 or putting it all on the back burned while St. George tells us ghost stories. Those were the days. I guess I should have punished myself more during that time. My punishments are consequences delivered by the universe or karmic forces or that invisible man in the sky. Which don't seem to have done any good do they? Here I am in the same place I was after I left U/ARTs ten years ago.
I think if I keep writing in this manner, I will deliver my own punishments, self-reprimanding and all that. Regretting the past is punishment enough.
When I got home from seeing the movie, I saw a bright object over my house. It was brighter than all the stars and rather reddish-white. Later I went to space.com and discovered that it was Jupiter and Neptune(which was not visible to me) in a rare appearance. The Sea God must be having and intense conversation for the Mighty Lightning-bolt Wielding King. Although he was not hurling them tonight. He was hurling quite a few of them when I was in Ocean City eating crabs at Hooper's with my folk. Afterwards there was a beautiful sunset to the west, dark storm clouds to the east and a double rainbow in the middle. I think I got my magical moment(see SR5).
That's all I have to say about that. Other than it's 3:33. The most magical number I can think of.
Peace.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Depressed People: A Movie Review
Just got back from the movies. I took myself out. Again. Went to Noodles and Co. Again. Read some more of American Gods by Neil Geiman. Pretty good summer read if you ask me. Maybe I'll review it later. Saw Funny People, starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogan, written and directed by Judd Apatow. I never thought that a movie called Funny People would leave me depressed and with a numb ass wondering, where the fuck is Frodo. How can you have a three hour movie without hobbits walking around, crying, and dropping rings into fiery chasms? Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't there a rule that comedies should be under 2 hours? Now, Apatow has been known for some funny films, Superbad, which I have yet to see, 40-Year-Virgin, which was a hit that I've really only seen on TV(which is on about 40 times a month) but I would definitely buy it on DVD and watch it a few hundred times, and Knocked Up, with Rogan and Katherine Heigl, ugly dude bones hot chick who has a baby which is funny and cute because it's an unlikely pairing. I don't mind when movies go over two hours but when its a comedy and it hasn't wrapped up after 2 hours there is a problem. Maybe it's just an editing issue. Maybe its just that directors hate having to "kill their children" but some of the best movies have been chopped down and re-written several times just to get the perfect flow, timing and to make all the points that have to be made.
To be fair, I liked all the characters and the actors who portrayed them. There were many funny moments, as the title suggests, and each character felt fully fleshed out and well-casted. Adam Sandler plays an aging comic genius who is diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia, and Seth Rogan is a wanna-be comedian working at a deli counter and doing free stand up gigs. An opportunity to open for Sandler's character creates an acquantance which becomes a business partnership, friendship, and bro-mance, which is a common theme in Apatow movies. In fact there are several of these taking place throughout the film between Rogan's roommates, Jonah Hill, referred to in the film as the XXL version of Rogan, and Jason Schwartzman, who played my favorite character in (The Darjeeling Limited)and looks like the love-child of George Harrison and Luke Wilson. These hetero man-on-man relationships tend to outweigh those involving the female leads.
There are some very good points to be made about following one's dream, what it means to reach that dream and have everything but raises the question - does that success, financial blessing/burden and having 5 flat screen TVs to watch several movies featuring you all at once and cooks, drivers, Hispanic gardeners - do these things actually equal happiness? Sandler's character George is forced to examine these things in light of his illness and Rogan becomes his personal assitant/joke writer.
There are several twists in the movie which make it worth watching. My biggest problem is not so much the length but the fact that it takes so long to make points and pay off things set up earlier such as Seth's/Ira's budding relationship with a female comedian. Some editing, mostly in the script-writing phase would have helped. I suppose it is hard for a filmmaker who writes and directs his material to decide where to make cuts and why should he when he has established himself as someone that can bring in audiences from different age groups and get them laughing and crying- often in the very next scene which this movie does a lot of. As I said before, after 2 hours that roller coaster can get old.
If I were to rate this I would give it three and a half stars. I recommend it if you like films that take you on a wide emotional range but be warned that you may find yourself checking your cellphone clock a couple times(something I rarely do but was compelled by this film to do.)
To be fair, I liked all the characters and the actors who portrayed them. There were many funny moments, as the title suggests, and each character felt fully fleshed out and well-casted. Adam Sandler plays an aging comic genius who is diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia, and Seth Rogan is a wanna-be comedian working at a deli counter and doing free stand up gigs. An opportunity to open for Sandler's character creates an acquantance which becomes a business partnership, friendship, and bro-mance, which is a common theme in Apatow movies. In fact there are several of these taking place throughout the film between Rogan's roommates, Jonah Hill, referred to in the film as the XXL version of Rogan, and Jason Schwartzman, who played my favorite character in (The Darjeeling Limited)and looks like the love-child of George Harrison and Luke Wilson. These hetero man-on-man relationships tend to outweigh those involving the female leads.
There are some very good points to be made about following one's dream, what it means to reach that dream and have everything but raises the question - does that success, financial blessing/burden and having 5 flat screen TVs to watch several movies featuring you all at once and cooks, drivers, Hispanic gardeners - do these things actually equal happiness? Sandler's character George is forced to examine these things in light of his illness and Rogan becomes his personal assitant/joke writer.
There are several twists in the movie which make it worth watching. My biggest problem is not so much the length but the fact that it takes so long to make points and pay off things set up earlier such as Seth's/Ira's budding relationship with a female comedian. Some editing, mostly in the script-writing phase would have helped. I suppose it is hard for a filmmaker who writes and directs his material to decide where to make cuts and why should he when he has established himself as someone that can bring in audiences from different age groups and get them laughing and crying- often in the very next scene which this movie does a lot of. As I said before, after 2 hours that roller coaster can get old.
If I were to rate this I would give it three and a half stars. I recommend it if you like films that take you on a wide emotional range but be warned that you may find yourself checking your cellphone clock a couple times(something I rarely do but was compelled by this film to do.)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Scope Response 7
Every week I copy and paste Rob Bresnzy's Free Will Astrology(www.freewillastrology.com)
reading for Pisces and respond to it if it inspires some deep reflection.
Long-standing myths are on the verge of mutating. Stories that have remained fixed for years are about to acquire unexpected wrinkles. The effects may be pretty spectacular. I suspect it'll be the equivalent of Sleeping Beauty waking up from her long sleep without the help of the prince's kiss, or like Little Red Riding Hood devouring the wolf instead of vice versa. There's something you can do, Pisces, to ensure that the new versions of the old tales are more empowering than the originals: For the foreseeable future, take on the demeanor and spirit of a noble warrior with high integrity and a fluid sense of humor.
reading for Pisces and respond to it if it inspires some deep reflection.
Long-standing myths are on the verge of mutating. Stories that have remained fixed for years are about to acquire unexpected wrinkles. The effects may be pretty spectacular. I suspect it'll be the equivalent of Sleeping Beauty waking up from her long sleep without the help of the prince's kiss, or like Little Red Riding Hood devouring the wolf instead of vice versa. There's something you can do, Pisces, to ensure that the new versions of the old tales are more empowering than the originals: For the foreseeable future, take on the demeanor and spirit of a noble warrior with high integrity and a fluid sense of humor.
Monday, July 13, 2009
SR 6(?)
Every week on Wednesday or Thursdays I go to freewillastrology.com, read my horoscope for Pisces written by Rob Breszny(author of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia). I copy and paste the entry to my blog and write a response if I feel that the horoscope speaks to me or offers some good questions for reflection. It is Monday so I owe you/me one for last week.
"May you live in interesting times." That old toast is actually a droll curse meant to be heaped upon an enemy. "Interesting" implies rapid change, rampant uncertainty, and constant adjustment. What’s preferable is to live during a boring era when stability reigns. Or so the argument goes. But I reject that line of thought. I celebrate the fact that we're embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns and uphill climbs to be a jubilee of the first degree. What fantastic luck it is to be on the planet when everything mutates! May we be up to the task of bringing heaven down to earth. May we be worthy of the trust the universe is placing in us. Now get out there, Pisces, and enjoy the hell out of the epic and entertaining drama we're stewarding. This is your time to be a leader and a luminary.
This entry actually connects with the book I just finished, The Journeys of Socrates by Dan Millman(see review below). While no chracter actually toasts Sergei, his nemesis, Zakolyev does make live interesting for him by having his men hold him down will his giant companion kills Sergei's wife. Sergei is banished by his mother-in-law Valeria and vows to find Zakolyev and kill him but first he needs to heal and to become the best warrior he can be. This leads him to search for a hermit named Razin who teaches him how to prepare for an attack at anytime byt whacking him with a stick when he's sleeping, cooking, walking, and peeing. Razin sends Sergei to train under Sarafim the retired non-violent monk who is actually a master of martial arts and other higher spiritual abilities. The journeys searching for Zakolyev and each of Sergei's teachers and then to America is full of interesting lessons.
What this has to do with me.
I celebrate the fact that we're embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns and uphill climbs to be a jubilee of the first degree.
Personally, I have not experienced great tragey in my life. Though I have lost some elder family members no one has killed or violated my wife, nor was I raised in a abusive home or sent to boarding school or military school, though public school seemed to be violent enough. On the other hand I have been on quite a few journeys. I have mentioned in previous entries that I went to U/ARTs in Philadelphia where I discovered a deep, psychic connection with a circle of friends. I didn't graduate and left halfway through my junior year, mostly because of my own laziness and inability to balance fun and school work. I have many regrets about that time which led to me coming back to my parents house in Maryland and falling into a deep depression which took two years to come out of.
Then I decided to go out to California to be near my friends. I lived in Burbank and North Hollywood. I look back on that time as some of the best years of my life. Particularly the last two, when I discovered Frank Sontag's Impact Program on 95.5 KLOS. Through him I discovered spiritual teachers and books. One of those books includes, Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I also learned about a man named Benjamin Creme who came on Frank's show with his message that there is a group of evolved beings known as the Masters of Wisdom and the Master of the Masters is Maitreya, the World Teacher.
In August of 2005, I went to Benjamin Creme's talk and experienced one of the weirdest but mor powerful nights of my life. Peices of the Great Mystery puzzle of life fell into place. I went to the Transmission Meditation and discovered Share International, a nonprofit organization that promotes Benjamin Creme's message and leads transmission meditation groups which I attended whenever I could.
I began reading books Ghandi, Ram Dass, Bo Lozoff.
Some nights I would take the bus- actually EVERY night I rode the bus to and from work. I was living in North Hollywood at the time and had to take two buses to get to work and two buses to get back(by a different route because a few busses stop after a certain time). anyway on bus (163) would take me to La Cienega at a stop which was right next to the 101. I usually had 45 minutes to waite for the next bus which would take me to Burbank Blvd to a stop where I had to walk about 2 miles to get to my house. Needless to say, I got a lot of exercise and because I gave up soda, and eating meat, lost a ton of weight.
anyway, some nights I did not feel like "going home." Instead I would go on adventures. I got off at a stop which was a the foot of Mullholland Drive. I walked up a narrow path that led up to an overlook. I hopped the fence, walked around and enjoyed the view of L.A. where you could look down on the stars and up at the stars at the same time. It was a magical time for me. Perhaps more so than back in college. I would sit on the hill and meditate. One night I walked from the overlook to another one further down the road, which overlooked the San Fernando valley. Other nights I would just stay up all night then take a bus down to the beach. I wish I could go back to that time. But then it wasn't the best of times. I had a lot of trouble with money, and with focusing on mundane things like getting to work on time while taking more steps on my spiritual journal at the same time.
To be continued. . . I gotta poo . . .
"May you live in interesting times." That old toast is actually a droll curse meant to be heaped upon an enemy. "Interesting" implies rapid change, rampant uncertainty, and constant adjustment. What’s preferable is to live during a boring era when stability reigns. Or so the argument goes. But I reject that line of thought. I celebrate the fact that we're embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns and uphill climbs to be a jubilee of the first degree. What fantastic luck it is to be on the planet when everything mutates! May we be up to the task of bringing heaven down to earth. May we be worthy of the trust the universe is placing in us. Now get out there, Pisces, and enjoy the hell out of the epic and entertaining drama we're stewarding. This is your time to be a leader and a luminary.
This entry actually connects with the book I just finished, The Journeys of Socrates by Dan Millman(see review below). While no chracter actually toasts Sergei, his nemesis, Zakolyev does make live interesting for him by having his men hold him down will his giant companion kills Sergei's wife. Sergei is banished by his mother-in-law Valeria and vows to find Zakolyev and kill him but first he needs to heal and to become the best warrior he can be. This leads him to search for a hermit named Razin who teaches him how to prepare for an attack at anytime byt whacking him with a stick when he's sleeping, cooking, walking, and peeing. Razin sends Sergei to train under Sarafim the retired non-violent monk who is actually a master of martial arts and other higher spiritual abilities. The journeys searching for Zakolyev and each of Sergei's teachers and then to America is full of interesting lessons.
What this has to do with me.
I celebrate the fact that we're embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns and uphill climbs to be a jubilee of the first degree.
Personally, I have not experienced great tragey in my life. Though I have lost some elder family members no one has killed or violated my wife, nor was I raised in a abusive home or sent to boarding school or military school, though public school seemed to be violent enough. On the other hand I have been on quite a few journeys. I have mentioned in previous entries that I went to U/ARTs in Philadelphia where I discovered a deep, psychic connection with a circle of friends. I didn't graduate and left halfway through my junior year, mostly because of my own laziness and inability to balance fun and school work. I have many regrets about that time which led to me coming back to my parents house in Maryland and falling into a deep depression which took two years to come out of.
Then I decided to go out to California to be near my friends. I lived in Burbank and North Hollywood. I look back on that time as some of the best years of my life. Particularly the last two, when I discovered Frank Sontag's Impact Program on 95.5 KLOS. Through him I discovered spiritual teachers and books. One of those books includes, Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I also learned about a man named Benjamin Creme who came on Frank's show with his message that there is a group of evolved beings known as the Masters of Wisdom and the Master of the Masters is Maitreya, the World Teacher.
In August of 2005, I went to Benjamin Creme's talk and experienced one of the weirdest but mor powerful nights of my life. Peices of the Great Mystery puzzle of life fell into place. I went to the Transmission Meditation and discovered Share International, a nonprofit organization that promotes Benjamin Creme's message and leads transmission meditation groups which I attended whenever I could.
I began reading books Ghandi, Ram Dass, Bo Lozoff.
Some nights I would take the bus- actually EVERY night I rode the bus to and from work. I was living in North Hollywood at the time and had to take two buses to get to work and two buses to get back(by a different route because a few busses stop after a certain time). anyway on bus (163) would take me to La Cienega at a stop which was right next to the 101. I usually had 45 minutes to waite for the next bus which would take me to Burbank Blvd to a stop where I had to walk about 2 miles to get to my house. Needless to say, I got a lot of exercise and because I gave up soda, and eating meat, lost a ton of weight.
anyway, some nights I did not feel like "going home." Instead I would go on adventures. I got off at a stop which was a the foot of Mullholland Drive. I walked up a narrow path that led up to an overlook. I hopped the fence, walked around and enjoyed the view of L.A. where you could look down on the stars and up at the stars at the same time. It was a magical time for me. Perhaps more so than back in college. I would sit on the hill and meditate. One night I walked from the overlook to another one further down the road, which overlooked the San Fernando valley. Other nights I would just stay up all night then take a bus down to the beach. I wish I could go back to that time. But then it wasn't the best of times. I had a lot of trouble with money, and with focusing on mundane things like getting to work on time while taking more steps on my spiritual journal at the same time.
To be continued. . . I gotta poo . . .
The Journeys of Socrates, a review.
The Journeys of Socrates, by Dan Millman is a good summer read. It is an adventure story about how a young boy, Sergei Ivanov in Russia becomes the mentor dubbed Socrates by Dan in Way of the Peacefull Warrior. There are many parallels and themes shared by 'Peaceful Warrior. It's a coming of age story as the boy Sergei lives and trains at a military school, learns survival and basic combat techniques as well as truth about his family background. It's also a revenge story as one of Sergei's classmates, a bully and a sociopath becomes his mortal enemy who eventually kills Sergei's pregnant wife. Sergei sets out on a quest to become a skilled fighter trained by elite warriors, monks, and to hunt down Zakolyev and avenge his wife's death. Sergei trains with Sarafim- the Yoda-like master of martial arts and spiritual discipline who teaches Socrates what it means to be a warrior, and more importantly what it means to be a Peaceful Warrior. He convinces Socrates that revenge will not bring his wife back. "He who slays the dragon becomes the dragon." My favorite quote from the book is "You cannot kill darkness with more darkness. Only light can banish the shadows from this world.(235) "
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Scope Response #5
I have not been keeping up with the blog thing - but I think this Horoscope could spark some interesting reflection.
magic (ma' jik), n. 1. A mysterious event or process that seemingly refutes the known laws of science. 2. A willed transformation of one's own state of mind. 3. A surprising triumph that exceeds all expectations. 4. Something that works, though no one understands why. 5. The impossible becoming possible. 6. "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." (Arthur C. Clarke.) 7. A quality predominant in the lives of Pisceans during the period July 1 through July 20, 2009.
Magic. 8. Something extraordinary in an ordinary world, which if done enough times will become ordinary and requires belief and faith to work. 9. A belief system which bridges the gap between religion and atheism. 10. Every little thing she does is magic. 11. A collectible card game in which opponents become wizards in a duel using a deck of illustrated cards which depict spells, enchantments, and creatures which are employed strategically to destroy the other player.
Do you believe in magic? I do. I did. I used to. Sometimes I still do. I used to believe in magic as a fun, imaginary concept which was depicted in movies and cartoons in various ways but was considered by adults as silly nonsense. I'm not talking about stage magic which is all about showmanship, slight of hand, a practiced routine with optical illusions, rigged props, and stylish timing. I'm talking about the stuff that turned a pumkin into Cinderella's carriage, the stuff that made Peter Pan fly, the stuff that turned Prince Adam into He-Man, the stuff that gave Luke the ability to block lasers with his lightsabers, jump really high and levatate objects with his mind. All these things happened magically with little explanation except "it's magic"(or the Force).
For most of my life, I was raised in the Methodist church and taught to believe in a man who could walk on water, heal sick people by touching them and who has two traditionally insane holidays which have little to do with but somehow celebrate/honor/surround his birth, death and resurrection. This was and still is a good foundation for teaching a young man right and wrong, how to treat others as you would be treated, and that death is really not that scary because if you're good and go to church you'll go to heaven and live forever with God, Jesus, Moses, Abraham Lincoln, and all your dead relatives. (Just don't ask why or how or any really deep questions because no one really knows the answer.)
When I went off to college at the University of the Arts, I had roommates who were destructive, obnoxious, and crude. One in particular was a studier of philosophy and an atheist who found every opportunity to argue against the existence of God. He challenged by beliefs which I feel I defended to the best of my ability but it was the first time I really began to question what I really believed. The more I interacted with my roommates who did not seem to follow any moral code or artists and other people who just had different ideas about God, life, and what it all means them more I found myself questioning my beliefs and adopting other blief systems as my own in order to figure them out for myself. As the rift in different ideology and behavior patterns grew, I found myself more and more on the other side of the second floor. For those of you who are not familiar with the Furness Dorms they were two parallel buildings connected by a great hall and courtyard. A walkway connected the two wings. The building itself was once an insane asylum(and probably still is).
I was thrown into a world of ghosts, psychic abilities, wishes, magic, Oujia boards, tarot cards and stories about angels, fantasy creatures, friendship, love, art, music, and drama(the interpersonal kind not the theatrical kind, then again "all the world's a stage" as Bill Shakespeare would say).
I'm sorry. This isn't flowing the way I thought it would. As I write this I feel like something sacred was lost. I feel like as I grow older my belief and fascination with magic is dying. The more I plug into this electronic world either the internet or in video games or just struggling in "the real world"- I lose interest in the things of magic. Once in a while, I'll see a penny and pick it up, make a wish and toss it in a fountain. Once in a while, I'll have a dream, a very vivid dream, forget about it and then all of a suddend find myself walking right into it or watching it unfold before me like a movie(sometimes it IS a movie). Once in a while I break out the Lord of the Rings tarot cards that some magical girl in a chatroom ordered and sent me free of charge just because, or gaze up at the stars and the moon, or look for patterns or signs in clouds, sticks, dots, numbers, or words, but then I shake it off, move on, get called away by some addiction or some other thing and build up the walls that once had been broken through, made transparent or passed through like water or air or fire. These magic moments are getting rarer and rarer. Even those who introduced me to the world of magic will seldom mention those days, those nights that seemed to stretch forever. When we woke up at midnight, roamed the Philly streets, listened to St. George tell us what kind of D and D character we'd be, teach us how to "cloak" or that somehow because we are artists we could see things in a way that "normal people" can't. That the whole purpose in life is to break through the illusions and prepare for some mystical war that looms on the horizon.
What did it all mean? I used to go back to that time in my mind, read my old journals, yearn for that feeling- that feeling- I have no words for it. I lost it a long time ago. Magic comes close to the word I am searching for. But I think I left it on a cold, dark beach somewhere between Santa Monica and Malibu.
That feeling has taken the form of what I call the Shadow. An archetypal version of me who does whatever he feels is right in that moment and fuck everyone else, forget the world, leave it all behind, you have nothing to lose except yourself. On New Years Eve, I left my Shadow on Second Street and the Boardwalk in Ocean City, MD, where the Jesus sand scupltures usually are during tourist season but were somehow refreshingly absent as if the clean flat sand were enough of testament to God's power than the crude, egoic projections of religious folk art.
If magic exists, if magic really works if Rob is correct and this period between July 1 and July 20 is a magical time for Pisces(though I consider October to be more magical), I will try an experiment, and we'll see what happens. I'm going to compose a magic spell and cast it with the posting of this blog entry. They say be careful what you wish for and I will make this wish, this spell as consciously and thoughtfully as possible.
I have nothing to wish on. No pennies, no stars, no beaded necklace. However, I wish to make a wish all the same.
I have a simple wish. Though simple does not always mean easy, silly, or pointless. I wish upon my magic name.
Concord, Beorc, Sonny Leathersoul, Who I Am.
I wish to have a magical night, to turn on that spiritual light
Break through the wall, wander that hall,
open wide the Door, blow the roof off like never before
to see again the First of Three and to talk to her like we did long ago,
And see once again the One who came to me three July's ago.
This is my wish, this is my spell, as I am a fish, and a wizard as well.
magic (ma' jik), n. 1. A mysterious event or process that seemingly refutes the known laws of science. 2. A willed transformation of one's own state of mind. 3. A surprising triumph that exceeds all expectations. 4. Something that works, though no one understands why. 5. The impossible becoming possible. 6. "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." (Arthur C. Clarke.) 7. A quality predominant in the lives of Pisceans during the period July 1 through July 20, 2009.
Magic. 8. Something extraordinary in an ordinary world, which if done enough times will become ordinary and requires belief and faith to work. 9. A belief system which bridges the gap between religion and atheism. 10. Every little thing she does is magic. 11. A collectible card game in which opponents become wizards in a duel using a deck of illustrated cards which depict spells, enchantments, and creatures which are employed strategically to destroy the other player.
Do you believe in magic? I do. I did. I used to. Sometimes I still do. I used to believe in magic as a fun, imaginary concept which was depicted in movies and cartoons in various ways but was considered by adults as silly nonsense. I'm not talking about stage magic which is all about showmanship, slight of hand, a practiced routine with optical illusions, rigged props, and stylish timing. I'm talking about the stuff that turned a pumkin into Cinderella's carriage, the stuff that made Peter Pan fly, the stuff that turned Prince Adam into He-Man, the stuff that gave Luke the ability to block lasers with his lightsabers, jump really high and levatate objects with his mind. All these things happened magically with little explanation except "it's magic"(or the Force).
For most of my life, I was raised in the Methodist church and taught to believe in a man who could walk on water, heal sick people by touching them and who has two traditionally insane holidays which have little to do with but somehow celebrate/honor/surround his birth, death and resurrection. This was and still is a good foundation for teaching a young man right and wrong, how to treat others as you would be treated, and that death is really not that scary because if you're good and go to church you'll go to heaven and live forever with God, Jesus, Moses, Abraham Lincoln, and all your dead relatives. (Just don't ask why or how or any really deep questions because no one really knows the answer.)
When I went off to college at the University of the Arts, I had roommates who were destructive, obnoxious, and crude. One in particular was a studier of philosophy and an atheist who found every opportunity to argue against the existence of God. He challenged by beliefs which I feel I defended to the best of my ability but it was the first time I really began to question what I really believed. The more I interacted with my roommates who did not seem to follow any moral code or artists and other people who just had different ideas about God, life, and what it all means them more I found myself questioning my beliefs and adopting other blief systems as my own in order to figure them out for myself. As the rift in different ideology and behavior patterns grew, I found myself more and more on the other side of the second floor. For those of you who are not familiar with the Furness Dorms they were two parallel buildings connected by a great hall and courtyard. A walkway connected the two wings. The building itself was once an insane asylum(and probably still is).
I was thrown into a world of ghosts, psychic abilities, wishes, magic, Oujia boards, tarot cards and stories about angels, fantasy creatures, friendship, love, art, music, and drama(the interpersonal kind not the theatrical kind, then again "all the world's a stage" as Bill Shakespeare would say).
I'm sorry. This isn't flowing the way I thought it would. As I write this I feel like something sacred was lost. I feel like as I grow older my belief and fascination with magic is dying. The more I plug into this electronic world either the internet or in video games or just struggling in "the real world"- I lose interest in the things of magic. Once in a while, I'll see a penny and pick it up, make a wish and toss it in a fountain. Once in a while, I'll have a dream, a very vivid dream, forget about it and then all of a suddend find myself walking right into it or watching it unfold before me like a movie(sometimes it IS a movie). Once in a while I break out the Lord of the Rings tarot cards that some magical girl in a chatroom ordered and sent me free of charge just because, or gaze up at the stars and the moon, or look for patterns or signs in clouds, sticks, dots, numbers, or words, but then I shake it off, move on, get called away by some addiction or some other thing and build up the walls that once had been broken through, made transparent or passed through like water or air or fire. These magic moments are getting rarer and rarer. Even those who introduced me to the world of magic will seldom mention those days, those nights that seemed to stretch forever. When we woke up at midnight, roamed the Philly streets, listened to St. George tell us what kind of D and D character we'd be, teach us how to "cloak" or that somehow because we are artists we could see things in a way that "normal people" can't. That the whole purpose in life is to break through the illusions and prepare for some mystical war that looms on the horizon.
What did it all mean? I used to go back to that time in my mind, read my old journals, yearn for that feeling- that feeling- I have no words for it. I lost it a long time ago. Magic comes close to the word I am searching for. But I think I left it on a cold, dark beach somewhere between Santa Monica and Malibu.
That feeling has taken the form of what I call the Shadow. An archetypal version of me who does whatever he feels is right in that moment and fuck everyone else, forget the world, leave it all behind, you have nothing to lose except yourself. On New Years Eve, I left my Shadow on Second Street and the Boardwalk in Ocean City, MD, where the Jesus sand scupltures usually are during tourist season but were somehow refreshingly absent as if the clean flat sand were enough of testament to God's power than the crude, egoic projections of religious folk art.
If magic exists, if magic really works if Rob is correct and this period between July 1 and July 20 is a magical time for Pisces(though I consider October to be more magical), I will try an experiment, and we'll see what happens. I'm going to compose a magic spell and cast it with the posting of this blog entry. They say be careful what you wish for and I will make this wish, this spell as consciously and thoughtfully as possible.
I have nothing to wish on. No pennies, no stars, no beaded necklace. However, I wish to make a wish all the same.
I have a simple wish. Though simple does not always mean easy, silly, or pointless. I wish upon my magic name.
Concord, Beorc, Sonny Leathersoul, Who I Am.
I wish to have a magical night, to turn on that spiritual light
Break through the wall, wander that hall,
open wide the Door, blow the roof off like never before
to see again the First of Three and to talk to her like we did long ago,
And see once again the One who came to me three July's ago.
This is my wish, this is my spell, as I am a fish, and a wizard as well.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
SR 4
I feel an expansive, permissive mood coming on -- in the cosmos, that is, not me. To be honest, I'm in a more conservative mood than the cosmos. But the planetary powers-that-be have decided to float you poetic licenses, blank checks, special dispensations, and wild cards. I just hope this free stuff won't make you forget about the finely-crafted containers and boundaries you've been working on lately. Maybe I'd feel better if you promised me to keep on doing the careful, conscientious things that seem to have earned you all the good fortune that's on its way.
Okay, Rob. I'm going to have to think about this one and get back to you.
Okay, Rob. I'm going to have to think about this one and get back to you.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Scope Response #3
There has rarely been a better time than now to blend your fresh sparkly innocence and your deep ancient wisdom. The childlike aspects of your intelligence are especially available, and so are the visionary elements. Furthermore, the two have a great potential to complement and enhance each other. You might be amazed at how dramatically you could transform long-standing problems by invoking this dynamic tandem of energies.
This is a tough one. Okay, let's break it down. "There has rarely been a better time"- does he mean early summer, June. Summer has always been my favorite time of year, from May to August. It's a good time to "blend your fresh sparkly innocence" this is true, I am actually quite good at approaching everything from my job to schoolwork with a beginner's mind where I pretend that I don't know what I'm doing and learning as I go. When that happen's my "deep ancient wisdom" kick in, mostly its a physical of knowing how much time and effort I need to exert in order to get the job done. At the same time I do not spend a lot of time worrying about the future. I take my job, day by day, punch by punch, paycheck to paycheck, from one customer, co-worker, boss, to another.
I don't worry when I don't do the job exactly perfect, because I don't want to look too eager and be taken advantage of by people who see me as someone who can do more than his share and will do the work of other less efficient workers. I am good and being happy in this moment. In this moment, I am happy, I have a full wallet, a full stomach. Some day that may not be the case. So I am happy in this moment. I can start saving for future moments.
The childlike aspects of your intelligence are especially available, and so are the visionary elements.
I think this refers to my secret love of learning. I actually like going to school. I actually think I'll like doing math(even though I tested at the MAth 091 level which is pretty much a step above deedeedee). But I think I have a better understanding of how to solve problems with your mind and nothing else. Math has specific rules- house rules- and if you follow them math is not so bad. I think the problem is- not sure where I read this- but the reason I hated math in high school was because the teachers never made it easy or fun. My Algebra II teacher Mrs. Harris was a witch of a woman, and I personified her, demonized her as a witch so that I could blame all my problems on her. Maybe I'd be eager to learn how to do it right if you didn't call us dispicable people if we don't understand something.
In some ways I think if I somehow master some basic or even complex mathmatical processes I will become more rounded as person because I won't have this fear. That is it isn't it? I have to overcome my fear and disgust at having to do math. I have to make it fun or some kind of adventure. i have to learn to play with math like Will(Good Will Hunting) or Ben (21).
Watched Up today. It was excellent as all Pixar films are. It explored themes of childhood fantasy and the process of aging, dying, fulfilling forgotten dreams which was the subject of a previous Scope Response (SR?). An unlikely team of adventurers, an old widower, a young portly Wilderness Scout, a toucan-sam colored bird, and dog with an electronic voice-box. Mr. Peterson, the old man meets his childhood hero and discovers that he is an egomaniac trying to get the thing he has been searching for all his life but willing to kill or hurt people to get it. Excelltent animation, btw. There were some very deep moments of contemplation in the film as well as fun action moments, chases, comical exchanges between the unlikely companions.
Also ate a lot of food today. Ate at 3 of my favorite restaurants: Panda Express, Sushi Ya, Noodles and Company.
Had a palaver with my inner Guru - a reflection of my own gluttony- told me that all the good food in the world will never satisfy me, all the money or toys or fantasy girls will never fill that void- it is like trying to fill the universe- it cannot be done. There is no substance, no product, no expert, not even a religious leader or spiritual teacher/teaching that can bring you closer to touching the deep, high, vast, infinite, indescribable experience of touching God and the Great Mystery that enfolds you. Stop walking around waiting for some vivid dream of dragons and angels to wake you up. You are awake- this is the gray of the early morning. But the sun is breaking through. "Let the sun shine in" as the song says.
You know the steps to take. You know the path. You know where it has taken you, you know where it will take you. Stop eating. Stop consuming. Wait. Allow your body to guide you to your next step. Then take it and your heart, your mind will follow. And eternal peace thereafter.
Furthermore, the two have a great potential to complement and enhance each other. You might be amazed at how dramatically you could transform long-standing problems by invoking this dynamic tandem of energies.
Transformation - I am a transformer. I am more than meets the eye. For the transformation to take place you must clear away anything keeping you from the only thing that matters- this moment. You have to lost your mind in the process. This does not actually mean to "go crazy" rather, it is the world that is crazy. "Life is very deep, and our modern lifestyle"- these mememe sites follow me follow me look how many friends I have look how many followers I have look how many I have left after I die look how meningless it is when economic meltdown, terminal cancer or swine flu or nuclear holocaust threaten my very existence nevermind I have 114,500 friends who just want more friends than I have - "is not."
"People asking questions lost in confusion,
Well I tell them there's no problems only solutions
They shake their heads and look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry I'm just sitting here doing time." -John Lennon
This is a tough one. Okay, let's break it down. "There has rarely been a better time"- does he mean early summer, June. Summer has always been my favorite time of year, from May to August. It's a good time to "blend your fresh sparkly innocence" this is true, I am actually quite good at approaching everything from my job to schoolwork with a beginner's mind where I pretend that I don't know what I'm doing and learning as I go. When that happen's my "deep ancient wisdom" kick in, mostly its a physical of knowing how much time and effort I need to exert in order to get the job done. At the same time I do not spend a lot of time worrying about the future. I take my job, day by day, punch by punch, paycheck to paycheck, from one customer, co-worker, boss, to another.
I don't worry when I don't do the job exactly perfect, because I don't want to look too eager and be taken advantage of by people who see me as someone who can do more than his share and will do the work of other less efficient workers. I am good and being happy in this moment. In this moment, I am happy, I have a full wallet, a full stomach. Some day that may not be the case. So I am happy in this moment. I can start saving for future moments.
The childlike aspects of your intelligence are especially available, and so are the visionary elements.
I think this refers to my secret love of learning. I actually like going to school. I actually think I'll like doing math(even though I tested at the MAth 091 level which is pretty much a step above deedeedee). But I think I have a better understanding of how to solve problems with your mind and nothing else. Math has specific rules- house rules- and if you follow them math is not so bad. I think the problem is- not sure where I read this- but the reason I hated math in high school was because the teachers never made it easy or fun. My Algebra II teacher Mrs. Harris was a witch of a woman, and I personified her, demonized her as a witch so that I could blame all my problems on her. Maybe I'd be eager to learn how to do it right if you didn't call us dispicable people if we don't understand something.
In some ways I think if I somehow master some basic or even complex mathmatical processes I will become more rounded as person because I won't have this fear. That is it isn't it? I have to overcome my fear and disgust at having to do math. I have to make it fun or some kind of adventure. i have to learn to play with math like Will(Good Will Hunting) or Ben (21).
Watched Up today. It was excellent as all Pixar films are. It explored themes of childhood fantasy and the process of aging, dying, fulfilling forgotten dreams which was the subject of a previous Scope Response (SR?). An unlikely team of adventurers, an old widower, a young portly Wilderness Scout, a toucan-sam colored bird, and dog with an electronic voice-box. Mr. Peterson, the old man meets his childhood hero and discovers that he is an egomaniac trying to get the thing he has been searching for all his life but willing to kill or hurt people to get it. Excelltent animation, btw. There were some very deep moments of contemplation in the film as well as fun action moments, chases, comical exchanges between the unlikely companions.
Also ate a lot of food today. Ate at 3 of my favorite restaurants: Panda Express, Sushi Ya, Noodles and Company.
Had a palaver with my inner Guru - a reflection of my own gluttony- told me that all the good food in the world will never satisfy me, all the money or toys or fantasy girls will never fill that void- it is like trying to fill the universe- it cannot be done. There is no substance, no product, no expert, not even a religious leader or spiritual teacher/teaching that can bring you closer to touching the deep, high, vast, infinite, indescribable experience of touching God and the Great Mystery that enfolds you. Stop walking around waiting for some vivid dream of dragons and angels to wake you up. You are awake- this is the gray of the early morning. But the sun is breaking through. "Let the sun shine in" as the song says.
You know the steps to take. You know the path. You know where it has taken you, you know where it will take you. Stop eating. Stop consuming. Wait. Allow your body to guide you to your next step. Then take it and your heart, your mind will follow. And eternal peace thereafter.
Furthermore, the two have a great potential to complement and enhance each other. You might be amazed at how dramatically you could transform long-standing problems by invoking this dynamic tandem of energies.
Transformation - I am a transformer. I am more than meets the eye. For the transformation to take place you must clear away anything keeping you from the only thing that matters- this moment. You have to lost your mind in the process. This does not actually mean to "go crazy" rather, it is the world that is crazy. "Life is very deep, and our modern lifestyle"- these mememe sites follow me follow me look how many friends I have look how many followers I have look how many I have left after I die look how meningless it is when economic meltdown, terminal cancer or swine flu or nuclear holocaust threaten my very existence nevermind I have 114,500 friends who just want more friends than I have - "is not."
"People asking questions lost in confusion,
Well I tell them there's no problems only solutions
They shake their heads and look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry I'm just sitting here doing time." -John Lennon
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Deep and Dimples
Concord's Journal. June 4, 2008.
Today I woke up aroung 11 a.m. No work today. Watched Grace on MyDamnChannel.com. Ate two eggs and mini bagel w cream cheese. Orange juice. Wasted time. Did some math. Watched Breakroom live.
I don't know about this blogging thing. Seems self indulgent. Seems easier to write this all in a notebook than type it out. It feels "on the spot" and not very organic. Not sure if I want everyone to know my day-to-day life or secret things about me. Not sure that it really needs to be broadcast on the internet. not really sure about anything right now except I gotta poo.
Today I woke up aroung 11 a.m. No work today. Watched Grace on MyDamnChannel.com. Ate two eggs and mini bagel w cream cheese. Orange juice. Wasted time. Did some math. Watched Breakroom live.
I don't know about this blogging thing. Seems self indulgent. Seems easier to write this all in a notebook than type it out. It feels "on the spot" and not very organic. Not sure if I want everyone to know my day-to-day life or secret things about me. Not sure that it really needs to be broadcast on the internet. not really sure about anything right now except I gotta poo.
Scope Response #2
Dear Rob: I've recently developed a propensity to talk to myself. This is pretty weird. All these years, I've barely uttered a few words to myself on special occasions. Now I'm having long, convoluted gab fests, as if the little voices in my head had busted out of their holding cells, run amuck, and decided to NEVER SHUT UP! Am I crazy? - Out Loud Pisces." Dear Out Loud: It's a good sign that you're getting all the murmuring background noise out in the open. Not just for you but for many Pisceans, thoughts and feelings that had been hidden or secret are becoming available to your conscious mind. Once you clear out the backlog, the really useful revelations will begin.
I think that is the purpose of my ongoing journal and this blog thing. To clean out stuff I feel I need to chatter about even if no one actually reads it. To clear out the old stuff. Take out the trash as Socrates says in Peaceful Warrior. Make room from really useful revelations. Yeah I need to do that. In fact, I need to go on a LYFYS quest.
I think that is the purpose of my ongoing journal and this blog thing. To clean out stuff I feel I need to chatter about even if no one actually reads it. To clear out the old stuff. Take out the trash as Socrates says in Peaceful Warrior. Make room from really useful revelations. Yeah I need to do that. In fact, I need to go on a LYFYS quest.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Scope Response #1
It's a ripe time to revise and rework your past, Pisces. I'll trust you to make the ultimate determination about how best to do that, but here are some possibilities. 1. Revisit a memory that has haunted you, and do a ritual that resolves it and brings you peace. 2. Return to the scene of an awkward anomaly that remains unsettled, and finally do a duty you neglected. 3. Make your way back to a dream you wandered away from prematurely, and either re-commit yourself to it, or put it to rest for good. 4. Dig up and contemplate a secret that has been festering, and come to a decision about what you can do to heal it.
This one is a doozy. Revise and rework your past. This I have done many times in the course of my life.
1. Revisit a memory that has haunted you, and do a ritual that resolves it and brings you peace.
There is a memory that comes to mind. From early childhood. Kindegarden. I had afternoon kindergarden so my parents sent me to Debby's house for morning day care. Over by Ridgemont Drive. Several other boys. We would play in basement. Debby has a son, Michael who was a meanie. Probably the first of many nemesees in my school and work career. Pushed me into a wall sneering because I confused a Y-Wing with a B-Wing on my Star Wars T-shirt(didn't make sense then. doesn't make sense then). Wish I could go back in time like Back to the Future and tell my younger self to stand up to him, push him back, deck him.
Around same time, Debby yelled at us for getting out toys when we weren't supposed to or something(probably not acceptable Nanny behavior by today's standards). Asked all of us who got the toys out or who was playing with them. One of the boys we'll call him Dougie, pointed me and said "he did it" Instead of speaking out and saying "It wasn't me" I stayed quiet and put the toys away anyway. From what I remember from Psych 101, this probably started a pattern of avoidance, silent suffering, and accepting shit that comes my way rather than speaking out, complaining, or refusing to do it.
Memory comes to mind sometimes. Especially in similar situations where I am stuck doing something or cleaning up after a mess that isn't mine. Which I think results in my inability to clean up my own messes(literally and metaphorically) or take control of my own shit. Cashier at the Big Blue Bastard(a.k.a. Wal-Mart) as opposed to the Big Red Asshole, Target) told me "I have to learn to stick up for myself" and not let other associates make me do all the work or go out on lot when it's cold and rainy outside.
My ritualistic response is "I have to learn?" I'm 30. Not 13. I know when to stick up for myself and how. I don't always do it but I have also learned that it is better to shut up and do it because humility, kindness, and honesty are higher qualities than ego-driven reactions like scapegoating, lying to get out of something, or resisting with negative emotional outbursts(like my "fuck you" to Mrs. Desdemon). I could have lied to my History teacher about turning my paper in, but I didn't, I probably could have and should have, but I didn't because honesty is still the best policy.
I think writing this counts as resolving this memory into something positive.
2. Return to the scene of an awkward anomaly that remains unsettled, and finally do a duty you neglected.
Hmm, I'll come back to this one.
3. Make your way back to a dream you wandered away from prematurely, and either re-commit yourself to it, or put it to rest for good.
I think this refers to my dream of writing for film. Getting paid to do what I do best. Imagine. Although this brings up another point mentioned in Rob's Pronoia book. That in the course of several years, there has been an assault on my imagination. Fear-based media, rigid right wing conservative religious righteous fanatics, atheisitic left wing liberal atheistic philosophical assouls,
more detailed mind blowing video games, more self-promoting websites like MySpace, Friendster, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and more. What I call mememe sites. We get addicted(and I have done my share of self-promotion projecting my interests and blogging about whatever I think is relevant to my life and thinking someone else really gives a shit what I think) The truth is all these things are ways to serve mememe and not them them them. How to make the change - the REAL change we need - is the hard question.
And see. I have wandered from my dream again. I still have a series of movies I want to write, that I feel have been given to me through dreams by characters, either real people who need their stories told or fragment s of my own psyche that need a voice. I know the characters. Most of them as well as I know my friends and my family. It is a disservice to allow them to fade into nothingness. I do plan to recommit myself to this dream. After I finish at Carroll, get my AA, then I. I want to go to film school for my BFA. I think it is what I want to do more than anything. Whenever I say "I want to be an art teacher" which is as much a lie as "I want to make it in the film industry", people ask "what kind of art". I think the answer is film. It's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, I've just neve devoted much time to actually filming anything. But since I was 3 or 4 watching Star Wars over and over and over again in the back room of The Video Exchange, I think that is my destiny to work in movies. To write. Maybe to direct. Who knows. It's still out there.
This realization has come to me much in the way that Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption does. He was an innocent man sentenced for life but he had to go to prison in order to become a crook. Likewise, I was not a filmmaker or Hollywood wannabe until I went to L.A. and discovered how much I love it there. How much I belong there. How perfectly my hand fits in George Lucas's hand print in front of Graumans Chinese. Something deep inside me has just awoken in my heart. Mostly it is sorrow for not being there, but also joy that I know without a doubt "what I want" and how I plan to get it.
4. Dig up and contemplate a secret that has been festering, and come to a decision about what you can do to heal it.
I'm going to go dig. Get back to that another day.
Hope you enjoy this Scope Response. It was very deep and personal for me. Feel free to go to freewillastrology.com or any horoscope you think speaks to you and write your own response. Post it here or on your own blog or whatever you choose. I owe you a Friday Review but I'll do that later as I have nothing to review- I am reading Alone Against Tomorrow, an anthology of short stories by Harlan Ellison.
This one is a doozy. Revise and rework your past. This I have done many times in the course of my life.
1. Revisit a memory that has haunted you, and do a ritual that resolves it and brings you peace.
There is a memory that comes to mind. From early childhood. Kindegarden. I had afternoon kindergarden so my parents sent me to Debby's house for morning day care. Over by Ridgemont Drive. Several other boys. We would play in basement. Debby has a son, Michael who was a meanie. Probably the first of many nemesees in my school and work career. Pushed me into a wall sneering because I confused a Y-Wing with a B-Wing on my Star Wars T-shirt(didn't make sense then. doesn't make sense then). Wish I could go back in time like Back to the Future and tell my younger self to stand up to him, push him back, deck him.
Around same time, Debby yelled at us for getting out toys when we weren't supposed to or something(probably not acceptable Nanny behavior by today's standards). Asked all of us who got the toys out or who was playing with them. One of the boys we'll call him Dougie, pointed me and said "he did it" Instead of speaking out and saying "It wasn't me" I stayed quiet and put the toys away anyway. From what I remember from Psych 101, this probably started a pattern of avoidance, silent suffering, and accepting shit that comes my way rather than speaking out, complaining, or refusing to do it.
Memory comes to mind sometimes. Especially in similar situations where I am stuck doing something or cleaning up after a mess that isn't mine. Which I think results in my inability to clean up my own messes(literally and metaphorically) or take control of my own shit. Cashier at the Big Blue Bastard(a.k.a. Wal-Mart) as opposed to the Big Red Asshole, Target) told me "I have to learn to stick up for myself" and not let other associates make me do all the work or go out on lot when it's cold and rainy outside.
My ritualistic response is "I have to learn?" I'm 30. Not 13. I know when to stick up for myself and how. I don't always do it but I have also learned that it is better to shut up and do it because humility, kindness, and honesty are higher qualities than ego-driven reactions like scapegoating, lying to get out of something, or resisting with negative emotional outbursts(like my "fuck you" to Mrs. Desdemon). I could have lied to my History teacher about turning my paper in, but I didn't, I probably could have and should have, but I didn't because honesty is still the best policy.
I think writing this counts as resolving this memory into something positive.
2. Return to the scene of an awkward anomaly that remains unsettled, and finally do a duty you neglected.
Hmm, I'll come back to this one.
3. Make your way back to a dream you wandered away from prematurely, and either re-commit yourself to it, or put it to rest for good.
I think this refers to my dream of writing for film. Getting paid to do what I do best. Imagine. Although this brings up another point mentioned in Rob's Pronoia book. That in the course of several years, there has been an assault on my imagination. Fear-based media, rigid right wing conservative religious righteous fanatics, atheisitic left wing liberal atheistic philosophical assouls,
more detailed mind blowing video games, more self-promoting websites like MySpace, Friendster, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and more. What I call mememe sites. We get addicted(and I have done my share of self-promotion projecting my interests and blogging about whatever I think is relevant to my life and thinking someone else really gives a shit what I think) The truth is all these things are ways to serve mememe and not them them them. How to make the change - the REAL change we need - is the hard question.
And see. I have wandered from my dream again. I still have a series of movies I want to write, that I feel have been given to me through dreams by characters, either real people who need their stories told or fragment s of my own psyche that need a voice. I know the characters. Most of them as well as I know my friends and my family. It is a disservice to allow them to fade into nothingness. I do plan to recommit myself to this dream. After I finish at Carroll, get my AA, then I. I want to go to film school for my BFA. I think it is what I want to do more than anything. Whenever I say "I want to be an art teacher" which is as much a lie as "I want to make it in the film industry", people ask "what kind of art". I think the answer is film. It's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, I've just neve devoted much time to actually filming anything. But since I was 3 or 4 watching Star Wars over and over and over again in the back room of The Video Exchange, I think that is my destiny to work in movies. To write. Maybe to direct. Who knows. It's still out there.
This realization has come to me much in the way that Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption does. He was an innocent man sentenced for life but he had to go to prison in order to become a crook. Likewise, I was not a filmmaker or Hollywood wannabe until I went to L.A. and discovered how much I love it there. How much I belong there. How perfectly my hand fits in George Lucas's hand print in front of Graumans Chinese. Something deep inside me has just awoken in my heart. Mostly it is sorrow for not being there, but also joy that I know without a doubt "what I want" and how I plan to get it.
4. Dig up and contemplate a secret that has been festering, and come to a decision about what you can do to heal it.
I'm going to go dig. Get back to that another day.
Hope you enjoy this Scope Response. It was very deep and personal for me. Feel free to go to freewillastrology.com or any horoscope you think speaks to you and write your own response. Post it here or on your own blog or whatever you choose. I owe you a Friday Review but I'll do that later as I have nothing to review- I am reading Alone Against Tomorrow, an anthology of short stories by Harlan Ellison.
The Blue Period
Concord's Journal. May 29th 2009. 10:32 P.M. Returned home from work and trip to Noodles and Co. Favorite restaurant. Had spaghetti and meatballs. Favorite dish(evenly matched with N&C's Pad Thai with Tofu). Made by favorite girl(for now). Dimples. Don't know her name.
Adopted new writing style from Rorshach(Watchmen). Kind of like it. To the point. No "I", "my", or "me". The bones. Tired. Losing steam.
For new blog, establishing new features.
Thursdays is 'Scope Response. Respond to weekly Free Will Astrology reading(for Pisces) (http://www.freewillastrology.com/). Good way to reflect, work on stuff, go deeper.
Friday is Review Day. Review a movie, book, song, album, or food. This is an exercise to see if I could make a good critical writer. It would be cool to get paid to eat, watch movies, and write about my experience.
There will also be a monthly LYFYS(Lose Yourself Find Your Self) column.
Will also add lists of favorite movies, books, games, etc. as well as a vlog of the day(or week or something.
This is The Blue Period.
Peace.
Adopted new writing style from Rorshach(Watchmen). Kind of like it. To the point. No "I", "my", or "me". The bones. Tired. Losing steam.
For new blog, establishing new features.
Thursdays is 'Scope Response. Respond to weekly Free Will Astrology reading(for Pisces) (http://www.freewillastrology.com/). Good way to reflect, work on stuff, go deeper.
Friday is Review Day. Review a movie, book, song, album, or food. This is an exercise to see if I could make a good critical writer. It would be cool to get paid to eat, watch movies, and write about my experience.
There will also be a monthly LYFYS(Lose Yourself Find Your Self) column.
Will also add lists of favorite movies, books, games, etc. as well as a vlog of the day(or week or something.
This is The Blue Period.
Peace.
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